Are You an Umpire or Score Keeper Personality Type?

While growing up were you frequently criticized or  having to defend yourself – so that you know the ‘rules’ inside and out. Was ‘fairness’ regularly on your mind, constantly comparing to make sure that everything was ‘equally’ distributed? These issues can start with just one incident and can become a lifelong habit after lots of practice. Before you know it you have become the umpire pointing out all the rules, and the scorekeeper regarding how fair life is or is not.

Along the way you might have become one of those overachievers running circles around everyone wondering why life is so hard and you are the only one that can do anything right. This can become an overwhelming amount of responsibility to carry around. You work harder and harder, following people around cleaning up after them, organizing,  feeling so good about what a hard little worker you are.  Little do you realize that you may be overstepping your boundaries. That in fact what you are doing is not getting appreciation, but just the opposite!

In addition to all of the responsibility, you can also feel like a victim of it all. How come no one can see and appreciate all of the good that you are doing? Without you the situation would be a shambles. Life is just so unfair. No one else steps up like you do so it’s always just one disappointment after another.

Life does not have to be so hard. And you actually might be the one making it hard on yourself. These rules that you live by may only be important to you, or not generally accepted rules of conduct. The people around you may have different interpretations of these rules. You could even be creating resistance from your coworkers in your attempts to ‘help’.

It might be time for a change in perspective. These are some ways that this person might develop a more global or broader viewpoint.

• Review the many reasons there could be for the supposed ‘failing’ employees behavior, maybe they have too much on their plate?
• Don’t get  so worked up about the little stuff, and just focus on all the good you can see every day in everyone.
• Review priorities as a group or with the supervisor to get on the same page.
• Focus on your own personal duties and not worrying about others as much.
• Perhaps it’s not your responsibility to cover or rescue everyone else. Sometimes the best learning occurs in their mistakes!
• Practice compassion for other people’s journeys. From their perspective they may be doing a fantastic job considering obstacles that you are not even aware of.
• Fairness can be a very subjective concept. Perhaps it’s better to be the one giving a little extra if you can afford to, it’s good for the soul. Wouldn’t we all like a little extra understanding occasionally?

With some practice, those original hard and fast rules aren’t going to look so important.  The weight and responsibilities are going to start fading and the joy is going to start coming through! We tend to get more of what we focus on. So make sure that you are really certain of what you are focusing on; that you give your very best as well as allow others to find their way to their best as well. It can be a very fine line that takes practice. Your being aware and attentive to these situations will enlighten and accelerate the process. You’ll be glad you did!

Graduation and Life Lessons

I recently attended a college graduation ceremony which got me to thinking about new beginnings and life lessons. So I did a little research looking for some quotes and sayings that seemed to have some good lessons and some had fun memories from growing up. It’s nice to occasionally take a time out and reminisce. Also to remind ourselves about our priorities, motivations, and hopeful goals. Do we want to coast and be swept out with the tide? Or are we working it, making a difference, and grateful for the lessons along the way?

Always Be A Student

Keep on learning, graduate,
Though your graduation’s done;
Your whole life’s an education
That has only just begun.

Your diploma is the first big step,
For knowledge is the special key
To winning what you want in life
And being who you want to be.

If you’ll always be a student,
You’ll find the secrets to success
And travel on the golden road
To peace and happiness.  Joanna Fuchs

“Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don’t matter
and those who matter don’t mind.”  Dr. Seuss

“The future lies before you
Like a field of driven snow,
Be careful how you tread it,
For every step will show.”  Author Unknown

“Great minds have purposes, others have wishes.” Washington Irving

“Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.” H. Jackson Brown, Jr

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.”  Robert Louis Stevenson

“Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.”  Arnold H. Glasow

“Do or do not. There is no try.”  Yoda

Success
“To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty,
To find the best in others,
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happiness – How to Get There!

Happiness – do we make it happen or does it find or just happen to us? I have seen several articles on happiness recently. I wonder if people give much thought to this?

The articles report that we do have control over happiness. A good place to start is considering where does it rate on your priority list? How far would you go to find happiness? Are you willing to occasionally say no? Would you turn down overtime at work? Would you simplify your life so you could make do with less? Does your house have to be perfect before you can relax? These are choices that we make every day that seriously impact our happiness quotient. And our chemistry, whether it is happy or stressed will directly influence our health.

Next take it a step further and when you have the time, be present. Schedule time with your favorite people. Lend a helping hand to someone less fortunate, or share a smile or a hug. Spend time in nature soaking up all of the beauty that surrounds you. Take good care of yourself, laugh, sing, move! Perhaps this is the true lesson for us to learn while we are here on this earth. Every day choices that create a joyfully exciting happy life.

Don’t forget that we migrate toward that which we set our attention on. Here are some excellent articles and sites to get you off and running!

The Happiness Project NY Times bestseller and website

The Happiness Experiment from O Magazine

How Trivial Decisions Will Impact Your Happiness  Harvard Business Review Blog